How I dealt with being “ME”

How I dealt with being “ME”

Growing up I always knew how the world worked; man & woman were to be committed to one another & married. For me it wasn’t that easy. I would say I knew what I was “interested” in by the age of 12, I knew what I was attracted to, but I also knew the world wasn’t as accepting to it. In my family on my mothers side at the time it was only one other person apart of the LGBTQ community & one on my dads side as well. I was never comfortable being “ME” because of the stereotyping and the things people would say about gay people. At first I wasn’t sure how to tell people or if I should tell people, how would I explain this to anyone ya know? Its one of those things you cant talk to everyone about because everyone wont understand. I lived in a dark world for about 4 years my life was a complete secret it was so hard keeping this from my mom which is my best friend. I never thought she would judge me, but I didn’t want to disappoint her. I knew she had dreams of me getting married & having kids the “traditional” way. How would I explain to her all of this is still possible, but I would go a different route? This secret really got the best of me for a while.
It was about my junior year of high school a friend approached me and said “Jadda you need to tell your mom your secret because two of our classmates were going to tell her”. I remember that day like it was yesterday I was so hurt I wanted to cry so bad, but I also wanted answers. Why would somebody want to tell my mom my business? So I went and got my answers; they told me somebody had made up a rumor and said I started it which was false; after getting that cleared up I thought to myself “Jadda go ahead and tell your mom before someone else does”. So I did just that I didn’t want to talk to her face to face about it so I decided I would stay after school for study hall & I sent her a text telling her my secret, I believe she was more so shocked at the news than anything. She didn’t get mad at me she didn’t blow up or disown me either and I think that made me feel a lot better because things could have really went in the wrong direction; I’ve witnessed it happen to my friends. Often times I would text my mom asking if she thought I was a disappointment and her answer has never changed & I’m fortunate for that! Over the years nothing has changed our friendship has remained the same, she is still my bestfriend, my siblings understand & accept it as well.
While attending the Family Acceptance Project in Detroit, MI we were able to bond even more just the two of us. This project not only helped myself understand more & gain more knowledge, but I do believe it helped my mom understand things from different perspectives as well. Since being back home from Detroit I have become a even bigger advocate for others that are experiencing or have experienced what I did. I like giving them helpful tips on how to fight through the battle of being stereotyped in todays society. “Just be you, be free, don’t worry about what others have to say about you, live your best life”. Never let society define who you are!

https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/

Jadda Jefferies
jaddajefferies@aol.com

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